3 Sorrys

In our household we have implemented the 3 Sorrys rule:

1. Feel sorry


2. Say sorry


3. Make it better

This is a pretty good rule for Customer Service organizations too.

1) Feel sorry. Empathize with your customer. If you had the experience they had, how would you feel? Sure, there are three sides to every story (yours, mine, and the truth), but for a moment imagine what your customer perceives. And although you are not personally responsible for creating the situation, you can imagine how it feels when you feel wronged.

2) Say sorry. Step up and take responsibility regardless of who else and which department may be at fault. Remember, in your Customer Service role you are representing your whole organization. Customers are yelling at a representative of the organization, not you. Don’t take it personally (but don’t allow it to get personal either). With cooler heads mature people will come around and be understanding. Starting with a sincere apology goes along way toward diffusing the situation. And a ‘hollow apology’ is not sufficient!

[What’s a ‘hollow apology’? That’s an apology where you have not taken any responsibility for your contribution to the situation. For example, “I’m sorry that you feel wronged in this situation.” In this case you have not taken any responsibility for your part in the incident. Instead you’ve politely blamed the other party for their feelings.]

3) Make it Better. Take responsibility. Even if there's plenty of blame pie to go around, don't dish it out. Until the other parties are ready to feel sorry for their contribution to the situation you are not going to make them. All you can do is care for your part. (For tips on making it better, see The Customer Is Always Right in my "Customer Service Mis-perceptions" entry.)

Finally -no “buts.” There will be a time for you to share your side of the story, but this isn't it. (Remember: "Everything after the 'but' stinks.")